Send Me On My Way: much needed pick me up

frustration (n.) – a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs

In most of my blogs I try to remain positive when I talk about GRS, but recently I feel like I am being propelled towards my breaking point as I grow increasingly frustrated with the status quo. I have been assured by my employed friends and family members that incompetence is present in every workplace, but sometimes I feel like GRS thrives off of it’s incompetence.

Here’s an (small) example: ever since I arrived in Kimberley, we have been requesting permission from HQ to buy a projector. We use a projector every time there is a Skillz Street graduation, occasionally during Development Sessions and to train coaches. And if GRS Kim actually owned a projector we would use it as often as possible – to share M&E data and figures with coaches, to give Power Point presentations at Development Sessions and more.

But we don’t own a projector. So every time we need the projector we call my good friend, Percy J. Emmanual (he always introduces himself that way) and ask to rent his projector. This costs R300/day. Since I have arrived, we have rented a projector nines times and spent R2700 (we would have rented it more but we try to remain cost conscious in Kimberley). Before I leave we will need to rent a projector at least three more times and spend an additional R900, bringing our total cost to R3500. Now the cost of a projector is, on average, R3500.

What’s that? You notice it to! If we had just bought a projector back in August we would have spent the same amount of money, would own a projector and could use the projector whenever we wanted without hassle or concerns about cost. But alas, despite persistent requests and the use of simple logic, headquarters refuses to bless us with a projector. As my dad would say, it’s just plain asinine.

And that whole projector situation is perhaps the smallest thing that irritates me about the decision making process within GRS South Africa's HQ and even GRS in general.

So this morning, after working to ameliorate a certain problem in Kim - which is the result of certain shortcomings at HQ - and getting nowhere, I was pissed. Dangerously pissed. Ticking time bomb pissed. Right when I was on the point of exploding however, it was time for me to attend my West End intervention.

I was probably a little too aggressive driving to West End, but by the time I pulled up to the front gates I was already feeling better. And after stepping into the classroom with my participants everything magically seemed to get better. What made today really cool was that I ended up at this intervention all by myself, so I ran the whole practice with the girls! This is something that no other intern in my class has done!

Because I was running the practice I couldn't take pictures, but these are
from last weeks practice: Risk Field.

In Risk Field, players have to dribble through a series
of cones that represent risky behaviors that may lead
to HIV (i.e. multiple sexual partners, not using
condoms, alcohol and drug abuse, older partners).

If they hit one of the "risks" then they have to face the
consequences. In this case, Reese is doing a "toilet."

Players dribble through the cones three times.

The second time through, if they hit a cone the whole team
has to face the "consequences." This demonstrates that HIV
affects the infected individual and their family and friends.

The third time through, if a player hits a cone, everyone has to suffer
the "consequences." This shows that HIV also affect the whole community
and even the country (i.e. South Africa spends tons of money on ARV's so
that HIV-positive individuals can get them free).

I had never done or seen today’s practice (Practice 8) and it was a little more difficult than I thought it would be to deliver, but I managed, I had a blast and I realized something; GRS (and any organization for that matter) is not perfect and I cannot expect it to be perfect. GRS, the organization, has quite a few problems that I hope it will address in the coming years. But GRS programs – from our basic life skills curriculum to Skillz Street – are awesome! And at the end of the day that is what it is about – the programs that actually affect our participants. And as long as I’m around I can help ensure that our programs are thriving and if I keep my chin up, maybe I can tackle some of those organizational issues as well.

Last week's activity discussion.

Going to West End today and spending quality time with some GRS participants was exactly what I needed to pull myself out of the rut of frustration that I’ve fallen into recently. And to put a cherry on top of what turned out to be a not-so-terrible day, tonight we went to Panarottis with Derek and Ale, the two Zimterns who are visiting us.

As if all you can eat pizza wasn’t good enough, Trevor told our waitress that it was Ale’s birthday so that they would give him the Panarotti’s birthday celebration. The raucous celebration that ensued was priceless.