vital conversations

In all of the GRS Skillz programs, coaches work hard to get kids to participate in vital conversations about school, about HIV and about life. Getting to hear these vital conversations can be pretty moving. Just try to imagine an 11-year-old boy talking about how he is the only one at home that can take care of his sick mother. Or picture a 10-year-old girl asking to learn more about HIV and how she can protect herself and her sister. It’s something else.

I’ve been lucky these past few weeks. While working at Skillz Street I have gotten to participate in some vital conversations and I have gotten to have some of my own. Today I visited the Principal at St. Peter’s Primary School so that I could ask him a few questions about Skillz Street. I was mainly interested in what his thoughts about the program were and in ensuring that we were doing everything in accordance with school policy (that’s code for “I was kissing a little bit of ass”). But what started as a simple visit turned into a vital conversation.

The principal began by telling me that he was giving us (GRS/ Skillz Street) a tremendous opportunity and that he wanted us to take full advantage of it. “These girls need to see strong women leaders. They need to see that they too can become more than what they ever imagined. I see now that school doesn’t always provide them with that opportunity, but your program – your coaches – they really do. So keep it up.”

He went on to tell me that the biggest change he had noticed amongst some of the girls that are participating in Skillz Street is that they have more confidence. I was thrilled to hear that. I had noticed this as well over the past few weeks and it felt good to hear someone credit Skillz Street with affecting positive behavioral change. We talked for almost half an hour about Skillz Street and how important it is to empower young girls. It was fantastic.

That conversation propelled me through the rest of my day (I didn’t leave work until 18h30), and when Trevor and I got home we were in for another conversational treat. Our landlords, Johann and Hilda, had invited us over a barbeque. It was really nice not having to cook for ourselves tonight and the food was absolutely delicious (they made lamb, garlic bread, potatoes, two salads and dessert), but the best part of the evening was the conversation.

Johann is a jack-of-all-trades. He has a farm on which he raises livestock, he owns an irrigation company, he is an investor in new telecommunication cables that are being installed all around Kimberley and he is the owner/ manager of Gariep Motors, the local Mercedes-Benz dealership.  He has experienced a lot and he is very intelligent.

We spent a good amount of time talking about culture – how the U.S. is different from South Africa and in particular, how the culture in the townships is foreign to most whites in South Africa. Johann explained that he employs people of every imaginable background in his car dealership because the key to selling anything is being able to connect with your customer. If a black Swana-speaking person walks into his dealership, he has someone who speaks Swana that will deal with them. If a colored person enters his dealership, there is another person who will deal with them because they come from the same culture and will be able to make a connection.

He also explained that he reminds himself often (and encouraged us to do the same) that when we see behavior we don’t understand, or we question the work ethic of some people we work with, that we should go and look at where they come from. And he’s right. Most of the people here did not graduate from a great school like William and Mary. Most people here were not raised in a household with both of their parents. Most people here never learned to save money. Most people here are just used to surviving and making the most of what they have. Moving forward, I hope to be more conscientious of this fact.

Our conversation ended on a very interesting topic – the topic of leadership. Johann was talking specifically about office management. He asked Trevor and I, if we were the manager of a car dealership and we walk across the floor and see a piece of paper on the ground, what should we do? I was thinking, “you pick it up,” but before I even had a chance to respond Johann said, “you tell someone to pick it up – office management.” His answer really struck me. I can certainly see the logic in his answer, but am still not sure if I agree with it. Maybe it’s because I am the world’s worst delegator, but it has certainly given me something to think about – do I want to be a “worker” for the rest of my life or do I want to strive to be a “manager”?